My C-Section Recovery

I'd like to preface this by saying that my c-section was probably not the norm. I was in a lot of pain throughout the procedure, my incision was probably bigger because of twins, and my recovery was different because my boys were in the NICU at first. Everyone recovers differently; this was just what happened to me.

The first 24 hours were by far the worst. I was doped into a state of confusion and disorientation. Every movement of my body hurt, and the incision site felt so fresh and gaping that I felt sure my guts were going to fall out at any moment. The pain was pretty intense, making me regret the csection completely, despite the fact that I had gone into my induction half wishing I'd just elected to do a csection instead. Moving from bed to bed when they moved me from recovery to the postpartum room was agony. When the nurse had me get up for the first time twelve hours after my surgery, I wanted to cry.

To add to the discomfort, I couldn't eat anything at all for a while and when they did allow me to eat, it was only from the clear liquids menu. I was hungry, but I was also petrified that anything I ate might cause me abdominal pain. Lastly, I was still catheterized. Obviously this was a good thing since I couldn't even fathom getting up to use the bathroom, but it didn't help in the comfort department.

So the first 24 hours were hellish, but after that, I improved at an exponential rate. In the second day, I was able to get up and go to the bathroom. I was shaky and slow, but my mobility and my pain were much much better. I believe it was the third day when I began refusing the prescription pain meds and just made due with motrin. I think it was the second day when I changed out of my hospital gown and took a (albiet very gimpy) shower.

I hear that they often take out the staples from the incision and replace them with steristrips before leaving the hospital, but my doctor decided to have me come into the office a week after my surgery and have them removed then. That day I had a fair amount of bleeding, enough to stain my shirt slowly throughout the day, and that freaked me out a fair amount. By the next day, however, the bleeding had clotted and stopped. It did not bleed again or reopen.

As far as movement, I was able to walk well but slowly when we left the hospital, but the stairs at my house were troublesome in the first few days home. I tried to limit the number of times I went up and down them, and in the first few days at home I had someone else carry the babies up and down the stairs rather than me. By a week after the surgery, I was doing to stairs a little better and getting around better.

In the second week after the surgery, I was able to take the boys on a 1/2 mile to a mile walk a couple of times. Other people still had to carry the car seats and set up the snap n go though. In my third week I started to carry the boys in the car seats for short stretches, and I set up the snap n go if no one else was around. Our last walk was a full mile, and while I was slow, I did the whole thing. Still, I probably shouldn't push the issue, and I'd recommend not doing lifting if there are other people around who could do the lifting instead.

Now, at 3.5 weeks, my steristrips have all fallen off (they fell off a number of days ago), and my incision is pretty nicely healed. It has definitely gotten smaller and less freakish looking then it did initially. Remember that the skin on your stomach shrinks after delivery and therefore so does the incision scar. It will not be as big forever as it'll look the day of the surgery. Also in the recovery department, I've been able to sleep on my stomach for the first time in about 7-8 months. I still feel the occasional pain or electric sensation in my incision site, but I do feel a lot better and a lot healthier than I did 3 weeks ago. Whenever I feel a little bit of tension, cramping, or abdominal pain I just sit down and take it easy for an hour or so. Overall, it gets better pretty quickly, even if the initial pain and discomfort is pretty intense.

Evanston Hospital: My Review

I'm going to use this space to talk about the experience and facilities at Evanston Hospital's labor and delivery and postpartum units. I will not get into the delivery, as that's a whole different story, which you can read HERE.

To begin, let me say that Evanston Hospital is one of the best hospitals in the country. I owe them so much for the health of both myself and my beautiful sons. Anything negative I have to say is certainly outweighed by the fact that I owe the staff my life.

Let's start with labor and delivery. Because I'm paranoid and because I was pregnant with twins, I was admitted to Evanston's labor and delivery four times before I actually went in for induction. Of the five times I was admitted, three times I was admitted immediately. One time I had to wait for about half an hour in the waiting room, and the last time I was told over the phone to wait at home for three hours until more rooms opened.

While this waiting was fine for me, my mom sat in the waiting room for hours and said that there was one woman there who was legitimately in active labor but for whom a room was not yet available. While I was in recovery after my surgery, another woman was being admitted in the recovery room in a tiny cubicle with a cloth curtain for a wall. A few of the times i was there, nurses and doctors apologized for taking a while to get to me, saying "things have been crazy". Overall, I get the idea that Evanston Hospital is a little too popular for its own good. It's certainly earned its popularity, but from my multiple experiences, I found myself wondering if they might not benefit from building an addition to their popular and proficient women's hospital.

Other than the busyness, I'm a big fan of the L&D at Evanston. The nurses are excellent and some were so personal that they actually remembered me between visits. The residents are also incredibly caring, and you have plenty of hands and eyes on you, all of which feel knowledgeable and invested in your health. My only complaints are that I felt like they should've been checking my cervix more frequently during my labor and that I didn't have much faith in either anesthesiologist I saw, but otherwise the staff are excellent and make you feel informed and cared for.


Facility-wise, the rooms in L&D are almost unnecessarily roomy, and a comfy, reclining chair is available for dad. The bathrooms are accessible and close to the beds. TVs are present for prolonged labors and monitoring, but the audio isn't exactly theater quality. This is, obviously, totally unimportant. One of my favorite features of the L&D is that a television screen by the bed tracks your fetal heart rate (rates) and your contractions. This screen is easy to read and certainly helped to keep me calm during my labor.

Since I had a csection, which was a totally awful experience thanks to the anesthesiologist, I was in the operating room for delivery. The OR was fine, as you'd expect an OR to be, but I was definitely impressed by the number of hands available during the delivery. I definitely felt like there was adequate support for both my babies and myself.

After my surgery, I was taken to recovery for about an hour. I was pretty out of it, so I can't exactly review it adequately. I was a little shocked at how exposed it was--kind of like an ER with rooms separated by curtains, but you're really only there for a brief period of time.

Now on to the postpartum floor--where you'll spend the majority of your time at the hospital. The rooms here are smaller than the rooms in L&D, but ours also felt smaller because we had two babies and all their stuff rather than just one. Once your baby is rolled into the room, I wouldn't count on having more than two people besides you and your partner without feeling incredibly cramped. Some of the rooms may be larger than ours was though.

The bed in the postpartum room is comfy, and a recliner is also available for your partner. My husband slept here for four nights and seemed fairly comfortable. A television is available with a host of channels, decent audio, and a small selection of complementary movies. We personally found the music channels to be useful in soothing both the babies and ourselves.

The bathroom is fine, and I took a couple of showers while I was there. My only problem was that the soap/washcloth shelf in the shower was way too low to reach after undergoing a cesarean. It would be helpful for them to install a shelf a little higher up. There is also no shower seat, but I think you can ask for one if your surgery has you unable to stand while bathing.

While in postpartum, expect to have your room invaded at least once an hour, probably a lot more. This is obviously helpful and necessary for both your health and the health of the babies, but it also makes it difficult to establish a schedule or bond fully with your baby. Nurses and patient care technicians were the most frequent visitors to my room, and they were all so kind and friendly. Obviously some stand out more than others, but overall I'd say that the excellent nursing staff is Evanston's backbone. They made a difficult delivery and recovery way more bearable. Feel free to ask them anything and pump them for as much free advice as you can before you go home.

You'll see a host of other people while you're healing up in the postpartum room. Your pediatrician should visit once a day to check on the baby (babies), and your obstetrician should come by once a day to check on your healing. On your last day, you'll need both of these doctors to release you. On our last day, they both came pretty early for which I was very thankful.

You'll also be visited by the lactation consultant. We were very thankful for their help, as we had trouble getting started after our boys came up from the NICU. One if the lactation consultants was more helpful and friendly than the other (I think Helen was my favorite) but they were both a blessing. A woman also came by to help us with the breast pump and to arrange the pump rental. She was very nice and personable.

Lastly, room service and house keeping stopped by multiple times per day. I always ordered my meals over the phone, but they were so good about checking on you that you could have just ordered every meal in person. Another friend who delivered at Evanston in 2011 said a photographer came by, but we never saw one.

Back to the room service. The food is pretty good, and even with dietary restrictions (I'm a vegetarian), I was able to eat with a reasonable amount of variety. My only complaint is that one of the nights they outright lost my dinner order. When my friend called on my behalf to inquire what was taking so long, she had to completely reorder and it still took an hour to get up to me. Even when it did, my drink was missing. That must have just been an off night, however, because I had no other problems, and the service staff were all pleasant and personable.

Visiting hours in postpartum ended at 8:30, but on at least two of the nights we had people in our room past nine and no one said anything. Even when staff came in to the room and saw extra people, they were reasonable and didn't try to rush us.

At night, the staff try to leave you alone, but you should still expect someone to be in your room every couple of hours, even if it's only to check your vitals.

While at the hospital, you have the option to send your baby to the nursery at night so that you can get some sleep, and the nurses will bring your baby back for feedings. Initially I thought I'd never do this, but I quickly changed my tune. You'll have plenty of time to earn your sleepless parent badge once you head home; use the nurses while you can. The last night we sent the boys to the nursery and I sent pumped breast milk with them. This enabled us to get packed up and to head home with some quality sleep under our belts.

Checkout from the hospital was, by far, the most frustrating part of our stay. We were ready to leave over an hour before we were allowed to because we had to keep waiting for a member of the nursing staff to check us out, walk us out, etc. I'm not sure what we could've done to speed up this process, but I imagine stronger self advocacy on my part might've gone a long way.

When you leave, the nursing staff will tell you to take all of the disposable items from the baby cart on which the baby has been staying. Take them up on this even if you don't think that you'll use it. You can always donate unused diapers and formula. Having the extra diapers, wipes, and circumcision bandages made our lives substantially easier once we got home.

Lastly, parking at Evanston is pretty far from the women's hospital; you certainly don't want to walk it during your labor. Instead, have your partner drop you off in the back if the hospital. A valet is even available there during daytime hours. When it's time to check out, you can leave your car in this area to load it up.

While it wasn't flawless, we were incredibly blessed to deliver and recover at such a well staffed and proficient hospital.

NICU: My Emotional Reaction

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I felt sure that the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) would be a part of my journey. Twins are often premature, and many people I've known with premature babies have had to cope with the little ones being in the NICU for weeks and sometimes months. While I knew having babies in the NICU would be tough, I was prepared for that.

At least, I was prepared for that until my pregnancy lasted past 37 weeks. By the time I was induced, the babies were big enough and developed enough that I thought we'd avoid the NICU altogether. Although we were tremendously lucky to have our boys with us shortly after delivery (33 hours and 55 hours later), any amount of NICU time can carry with it an emotional price.

For me, the emotional price mostly came with my second son, Brendan, who spent almost an extra 24 hours in the NICU. I felt a lot of guilt that I held his brother first and posted pictures on Facebook of just his brother and me while Brendan was still down in the NICU...alone. It took over 40 hours for me to get to see him for the first time. Logically, I know that the difficult recovery from my csection made going downstairs to see him any earlier nearly impossible, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. Other people--other women--fed and held both of my babies before I did. The boys spent their first night on this earth away from their family and out of my arms. I try to give myself some slack by remembering how physically damaged I was, but it still hurts my heart to envision my boys all alone.

Before it happened to me, I thought the NICU would be no big deal, and I'm sure that with time it will fade into memory, but don't underestimate how being away from your babies can make you feel, and feel free to talk to the hospital and NICU staff about your emotions. You should be able to call the NICU 24 hours a day to check on your baby; I never took advantage of this, but in hindsight I wish that I had. Waking up during that first night to the sounds of other people's screaming babies in the adjoining rooms made my room feel so empty and lonely. I should've swallowed my pride and called.

My Journey: The Birth Story for our Twins

Short version:

Malcolm Finley was born via csection at 5:40am on Friday, november 16th and was swiftly followed by Brendan Bailey born at 5:42am. Malcolm weighed 6lbs, 7ozs, and Brendan weighed 6lbs, 6ozs.

Long version:

At 8pm on Wednesday the 14th we were scheduled to check in at labor and delivery to begin induction. At 7pm, the hospital called to say they were swamped and they'd call us when they were ready for us. After hours of not receiving a call, I called back at 10pm and they told us we could head over.

Once in L&D, they went over preliminary details and then started me on the balloon catheter to get me dilated. I was 1cm when I arrived, so we had a ways to go. The catheter didn't hurt, it was just kind of awkward and made getting up to pee kind of awkward. The docs also started me on a small dose of pitocin, and we waited.

Apparently the saline catheter method of dilation takes between 6-12 hours to get you 4cm dilated, but I was lucky and the cervical catheter had done its job by 6am on Thursday the 15th. So far, this was going well. They upped my pitocin and left me to dilate further.

At 11, the external monitor on Malcolm starts going totally bonkers, and my pgal brain starts freaking the heck out. They try to reposition the monitor, but can't find  him. The resident comes in with the ultrasound and dumbly fumbles around. She keeps saying "he's there" and I'm like "no crap, but is there a heartbeat?"

Her reaction? "I can't tell but I think his chest is behind your hip bone. Let's put in the internal fetal monitor". That's the one that goes in through your cervix and attaches to the baby's scalp. I'm panicking, but thankfully they get the monitor in and there's my boy's heartbeat looking nice and normal. Sigh of relief.

By noon, I was at 6cm, and the doctors were pushing to break my water and get me on the epidural. I was having contractions, but none that really felt "epidural-worthy", but I figured I'd want it before my water was broken.

Enter the anesthesiologist. He is cold and quiet, and the insertion of the epidural takes a couple tries. I feel...a little dullness, but certainly not the total numbness I'd been told to expect. However, I'm not in pain so I ignore it.

We break my water. It feels very warm and there sure is a lot of it. The doctors leave me to dilate further and up my pitocin again.

From noon until 6pm, I make no progress, except that I hit extremely painful contractions and the epidural isn't doing diddly crap. I'm crying and grabbing on to the edges of the bed. The anesthesiologist comes in again, but this time it's a new guy who is like the biggest jerk in history. He gets snappy with the nurse, and asks me if I'm "uncomfortable" as I cry and wince through contractions. No crap, buddy. But instead of investigating the viability of my epidural or upping the levels, he gives me narcotics that knock me out for hours.

Early in the evening, I make it to 8cms. I'm getting hopeful! By around midnight, my doc comes in and says I'm almost there--like over 9cm. She ups my pitocin and says she's going to take a one hour nap and then we'll start pushing.

After an hour, the extremely painful contractions thing happens again and the super jerk anesthesiologist comes back and once again gives mr narcotics rather than investigating my epidural. Cue another 2 hour drugged out nap. My doctor, mind you, is nowhere to be seen.

I wake up after 3am on Friday, and a resident checks my cervix and tells me there's still a little lip of cervix blocking Malcolm's head. Great. My doctor comes back in and is noticeably salty that it's taking so long. She says we're going to try to push and see if she can help Malcolm's head get through the cervix. We try pushing for about twenty minutes, but it's useless. He's not going anywhere.
My doc looks at me and says it's time for csection. My water has been broken for too long and my temperature is elevated--they're concerned about infection.

My reaction? Fine. What the heck took them so long? My doctor says she wishes that I'd stalled out earlier, to which I want to say "being stuck at 6cms for over 6 hours wasn't enough of a stall?!", but I keep it in. I'm tired and frustrated and ready to see my boys.

We head in to the OR, and I keep insisting that I'm still in pain and can still feel a fair amount--too much, I'm concerned, to be cut open. Once again, cue the narcotics. They make me a foggy mess and cause me to shake uncontrollably, but I'm not numb below the waist.

While they're setting me up, they hold my husband in a different room and don't bring him in until the very last minute, but I guess that's pretty common.

Now to the surgery--holy Jesus. I'm sure I wasn't feeling EVERYTHING, but I was feeling enough to be crying and screaming as they pulled the boys out of me. I was so drugged and in so much pain that I couldn't even enjoy looking over at my boys as they were placed in the bed to my left. I looked enough to see that they were adorable and alive, but that was about it.

As they sewed me up, the pain intensified and I started shouting obscenities. At one point my husband says that I passed out, but honestly the whole thing is pretty cloudy in my head. I just remember being in way more pain than I expected with an epidural, and after talking to others, I'm skeptical about the level and/or placement of my epidural.

All that aside, my delivery resulted in two healthy, nice sized baby boys and a sore but alive mama. That's all that matters to me.

Malcolm spent about 33 hours in the NICU and Brendan spent closer to 55 hours there because of their blood sugar levels and they had to be given antibiotics due to my infection from my broken water. I know we're lucky that it wasn't longer, but it was still hard to be away from them. I couldn't really get out of bed for like 24 hours, so I didn't get to see or hold them until Saturday afternoon/evening. Because they were fed formula in the NICU, getting them on breastfeeding was tough, but by the time they came home they were formula free, so my worry was all for nothing!

What's The Goal?

During the four days we spent in the postpartum unit, we had a parade of nurses. One of them, a young Polynesian woman whose name I stupidly ignored, saw us a number of times. She was a bubbly, vibrant woman who kept things light during an obviously stressful time, and I appreciated her care more than I can say.

One of her mantras, which I took with me as we left the hospital, was "what's the goal for today?". On day two, the answer was "walk down to the NICU to see my son". On the fourth day the answer was "breastfeeding".

It seems relatively obvious, but this nurse was keeping me focused and moving forward. Postpartum, it's easy to get bogged down in all of the minutia and completely shut down. It's also easy to look too far ahead and get overwhelmed at the impossibility of getting from point a to point z. By setting a simple, daily goal, I was given a sense of purpose, and ultimately a sense of achievement when I achieved that goal. During a time when things seem an endless trail of diapers and feedings, having a goal breaks up the days and makes progress more noticeable.

So I ask you "what's the goal today?". Set something necessary and achievable--a shower, five mins of tummy time, getting the baby into the swing--and take pride when you achieve it.