Traveling with Infants: 8.5 Month Group Vacation Edition

At the end of July, we ventured to the Northwoods of Wisconsin for a week-long vacation with friends. We rented a gorgeous house (on an island, no less!) and prepared to spend a week relaxing by the fire, soaking in some sun, and playing with some cute babies. Of the eight adults going, 75% had kids as well, so we didn’t feel like a tremendous imposition bringing the kids along. In addition to the twins, the island was also home to a 2 year old and a 3 month old for the week.

Looking back, there were some real successes in the way we handled the trip and some things I would definitely have done differently if I could do it all over again. So instead of rambling on with no structure, here are six things we did well and six mistakes we won't be making again.

Where I ruled:

1. Bringing Toys & Books

Without all the jumperoos, exosaucers, and play tables of home, we relied very heavily on the old blanket-on-the-floor-and-a-jabba-the-hutt-sized-pile-of-toys method. This was pretty successful, but mostly because my husband literally filled a giant storage bin with 95% of their toys and another one with about 80% of their books. This gave them plenty of variety. We also bought a few new toys for the road that would hold their attention for longer, such as the VTech Rhyme &Discover Book.

2. Booking a Place with a Washer & Dryer
We do laundry on a daily basis at home and vacation was no different. I honestly don’t think we’ll be able to travel to a place without laundry services/facilities ever again.

3. Downloading the “Tango” Application
This probably wouldn’t apply to many people, but this place was out of the range of cell reception…BIG time. That meant that our back up plan of using our phones as an audio baby monitor went right out the window. The second night, we downloaded Tango which allows you to make wifi calls, and since the house had wifi, this app allowed us to use the phones as a baby monitor so that we could enjoy some campfire and star gazing action once the babies went to sleep.

4. Planning Ahead
I started making a packing list three weeks before we left. I put it on the fridge with a pen and my husband and I added to it as we thought of things. This allowed us time to remember “Oh yeah! White noise machine!”, rather than trying to brainstorm all at once and inevitably forgetting something.

5. Having Awesome Friends
This trip would’ve been way more difficult had we traveled with jerks. While Greg and I tried not to impose on others as much as possible, it was nice to have caring and capable hands around when we needed them.

6. Not Bringing a Stroller
Because we literally didn’t leave the vacation property for seven days, having a stroller take up room in the car would’ve been a real waste.

Where I sucked:

1. Picking the Wrong Week
I wasn’t using the Wonder Weeks application yet when I booked this place, but had I been using it, I would’ve seen that the first day of this trip was also the first day of a “leap”, which means more fussiness, sleeplessness, clinginess, etc. We weren’t very flexible on our dates anyway, but if you have the choice, pick a week when they’re less likely to be having sleep regression/fussiness.

2. Forgetting the Baby Monitor
I remembered the screen part. I remembered the screen part charger. I, of course, forgot the freaking camera part. This was way stupid. Given the pretty pathetic distance range on our monitor, it probably wouldn’t have worked all the way down at the fire pit anyway, but it still would’ve been useful for watching them during naps when we were on the porch. We had real trouble putting them down because we had to stay in the room rather than just watching them settle down on their own on the video monitor. Us being in the room was a real impediment to them getting settled.

3. Driving Back Too Late
We left the island later than we had planned, pulling out of the parking lot after 11am. This meant that we didn’t get home until after 7pm, and the boys were really tough for the last 2-3 hours. In hindsight, they’re really best in the car during the AM and early afternoon hours when they’re more likely to nap. They’re used to staying up and playing between 4 and 8pm, so they got pretty angry and squirmy being confined to car seats.

4. Planning to Swim
Had there been a pool, sure. Had they been five, I’m sure I’d have to have pulled them out of the lake every night. But at 8.5 months? That water was way too cold and icky for them. I brought all these floaties and swimsuits and swim diapers that I never used. They didn’t take up much room, all things considered, but they were pretty much useless.

5. Not Prepping Them for the Pack n Plays
Our boys had literally NEVER slept in a pack n play. This was probably our biggest mistake. If I could go back, I’d have them sleep in them pack n plays for a week or so before the trip to get them used to them and to make sure they would work. Our boys are used to rolling around a lot in their cribs, and this just isn’t as easy or comfortable in the pack n play.

6. Not Getting Two Rooms
In a hotel, I would obviously never get two rooms unless it was a suite, but in a house, you really want two rooms—one for you and your spouse and one for the kids. I hated worrying that I’d wake them up when I crawled into bed or being unable to get my pajamas from my suitcase once they were asleep. Plus, the bed plus two pack n plays was pretty much the entire room.

Despite a lot of difficulty in the sleep department, it was a great trip. While traveling with infants is totally different than traveling before babies, that’s no reason to stay at home. Even though they were more difficult on vacation than they are at home, it was still an important trip for us to take as a family and as a group of friends. We made memories that I’ll absolutely never forget, started traditions, and the change of scenery benefited us greatly. Just plan ahead and be ready to roll with a little bit of chaos!

Our Journey: The Third Month

Malcolm and his attempt at thumb sucking

With each passing day the boys become more responsive, interactive , and just an all around joy. Don't get me wrong, they still do plenty of yelling, crying, and spitting all over us, but it's definitely becoming more manageable.

As the third month began, we started seeing greater neck control, and as a result the boys liked to be held in a sitting position on our legs. This lent itself to more active forms of soothing such as bouncing on our legs, and as a result the pacifier is rarely seen now at the end of the third month. Right now the pacifier is occasionally helpful at night, but around the middle of the third month the boys began to find their hand, and sometimes they even find their thumb. This has helped them to occasionally soothe themselves, although they're not all the way there yet in their coordination.

Also as a product of better neck control, we were able to get the bouncer set up for them around the middle of the third month. At first they really could only use it while we kind of watched their head and neck, but now they're pretty independent with it. They're still too little to bounce with their legs, but they still seem to enjoy fidgeting in it so that they rock and bounce slightly.

Brendan chilling in the bouncer

Smiles are a great benefit of this age. They now smile and coo with remarkable frequency, and it's almost always in reaction to external stimulation. This makes everything that much cuter and that much more rewarding.

As parents, we've been developing and branching out as well. We tried to transition the boys into their cloth diapers, which was a profound failure. They went through about ten outfits in 24 hours, and we put the issue on the back burner until they get a little bigger.

In the later part of the month I did a couple of shorter shifts at work before transitioning back to full time in early March. We also took the babies on a road trip to see their great grandparents in Arkansas. It was quite the feat of bravery on our part, and I'll post something on this specifically later this week.

Our final big milestone of the month is that we got Malcolm to sleep on his own in the crib one night kind of without incident which shocked the heck out of us! We didn't make a permanent transition yet because of the trip, but we plan on getting them both in to their own room in month four. I'll miss them being in our room though. There's something so comforting about hearing their breathing (and mildly creepy sleep-laughing) as you fall asleep. It's weird to think that there are already things that they're outgrowing--clothes, beds, and even titles. At 3 months old and just as plump and bright eyed as ever, they're now officially infants and the newborn phase is over forever!

And then the real one.

A silly one...

Our Journey: The Second Month

Malcolm on Christmas

The second month was when we really started to fall into a better stride as parents. Adjusting to two babies is really tough, but it gets easier and more natural every single day.

One of the things that made the second month more manageable than the first month was that the boys began to sleep through the night at 5.5 weeks. I talk more about the process and the tools we used to help us in another post which you can read here. Once the boys started sleeping through the night, they consistently slept 6-8 hours a night with only a couple of bad nights, and we feel tremendously blessed to have such good little sleepers.

Once the boys started sleeping at night, they became more wakeful during the day. With this wakefulness, came both good and bad. There were, of course, the fussy nights of screaming and almost constant eating, but with more wakefulness also came more of the good stuff. Around 5-6 weeks they began cooing and making vowel noises, and they also began smiling in reaction to things. By the end of the month, they've begun laughing in their sleep, and we can't wait to see that became part of their waking repertoire.

Brendan on Christmas

At 6 weeks we started using the baby carrier more often, and found it was a great tool for curing the nighttime fussiness and for enabling us to get some stuff done around the house. Greg even put both the boys in the twin carrier and did laps around the coffee table while watching basketball. Parenthood is certainly a test of one's multitasking skills.

A highlight of their second months was their first Christmas which they spent with both sides of the family. It was the longest we'd been away from home with them, but throughout the month we got better and better at doing changes on-the-go, and getting packed up to go out.

In the second month we were even able to get a little time for ourselves. At 6 weeks, we dropped the boys off with my husband's parents and went out to dinner just the two of us. At 8 weeks we were able to do it again. It's not easy leaving them, but were very lucky to have so many loving people available to take care of the boys.

Overall, I think we found a stride in the second month and things are beginning to feel more under control. And the best part is that now the boys make little noises and smile all the time, so it's good to know they're so happy! Further evidence that they're growing? The pictures below were about a thousand times easier to capture than their one month picture.

30 Days in a Rock n Play: Fighting the Sleep Battle

As I've said before, sleep was a nightmare when the boys first came home from the hospital. They wouldn't sleep in their cribs or in the pack n play, and so my husband and I switched off sleeping for the first 2.5 weeks, plus we had family and friends helping us out almost constantly.

At 2.5 weeks, my Fisher Price Rock n Play sleepers arrived from Amazon. I'd read reviews calling these things miracles and "must-haves", but I was reserving my judgement until I tried them out for myself. But, thankfully, the reviews did not disappoint. On the first night we tried them, the boys, who had previously almost refused to sleep on anything but a person, fell asleep almost instantly in them and slept for hours.

I figured it surely was a fluke; this couldn't last. But it did. The boys would sleep in the Rock n Plays every night. Usually they fell asleep quite quickly, especially once we started giving them a bigger bottle before bedtime. They were routinely sleeping 3-4 hour stretches, and it usually wasn't a tremendous struggle to get them back down once they were fed (although we of course had our occasional 3 am scream fests). If they had trouble going down, giving them their pacifiers, rocking them, or placing a hand on their chests, hands, or back usually did the trick. There's even a nice little ridge at the head of the Rock n Play where we keep their pacifiers for easy access.

Malcolm in his swaddle

On Night #20, Brendan was really difficult to put down, so I decided to attempt swaddling again (we stopped early on because they really seemed to hate it). I used the Summer SwaddleMe Blanket, and what do you know? The darned kid slept for almost 6 hours straight. After that night, we started swaddling both of them every night, and even their least sleepy night since was still around 5 hours. Routinely, they're sleeping 6-7 hours a night. I'm stunned.

While obviously our babies just have good sleeping genes, and not all babies will sleep through the night if you do the exact same things we did, I attribute their success to a few key tools and elements of our nightly routine. In addition to the two most important tools listed above (the swaddlers and the Rock n Plays), I'd say that getting them nice and full before bed has helped. We have to supplement my pumped milk with a few ounces of formula per day anyway, so we've been giving them that little bit of formula with their bedtime feeding. Formula metabolizes more slowly, so they take longer to get hungry again. I'd also say that keeping the nighttime feeding dark and quiet has helped, but they might not even notice that yet. The boys also seem to sleep best when they're put down between 11pm and 12am. Our shorter sleeping nights tend to be when they're put down after 1am.

Brendan giving a fist of approval

I recently recommended the Rock n Play to a friend whose daughter is 2.5 weeks younger than our boys. After one night in it, she texted me and was singing the sleeper's praises. She'd been using a co-sleeper, but they got longer stretches almost instantly with the Rock n Play. It seems that most people really have great results, as it has excellent reviews on Amazon.

The only negative I've heard about the Rock n Play is that some people blame it for giving their kid flat spots on their head. I just try to hold the boys more during the day to counteract the harder surface of the Rock n Play. I also plan to just have my pediatrician pay extra attention to their heads at monthly appointments, and hopefully it'll all be just fine. I also plan to move them to their cribs around 3 months, so that might help. I know that Fisher Price makes a more "deluxe" version of the Rock n Play with more head padding if the flat spot thing spooks you though. For me, the extra padding actually just makes me nervous about other things like SIDs, so I stuck with the basic one.

Overall, we've been very blessed in the sleep department, and I thank my lucky stars. I cannot sing the Rock n Play's praises enough. It will be my go-to shower gift from now on regardless of whether the person is registered for it or not! If you're about to fall over from weeks of screaming babies at 3am, I highly recommend this purchase.

A chart of their sleep progress over 30 nights in their Rock n Plays. This charts their first period of sleep in each night. Night #21 was the first night when they both wore swaddles.