By far one of the most frustrating and offensive things I dealt with throughout my twin pregnancy was the persistent questions that were basically all not-so-clever euphemisms for "are these twins the product of IVF"? Some of these are..."do twins run in your family"? And "were these twins natural"?
The second question, which I actually got from medical professionals, especially irritated me. First of all, the accepted vernacular is "spontaneous" not "natural". The term "natural" implies that there is something "unnatural" about a baby conceived through IVF, and I hope that it isn't difficult to see how that could be offensive. My second problem is that these questions all ignore one basic principle--that it's none of your business. Look, I understand why a human being would be curious. I'm curious about lots of things, but just because you'd like to know doesn't mean that it's polite to ask.
So, I guess the PSA here is that you shouldn't start running interrogations on moms of multiples to derive their entire pregnancy backstory. Trust me, you'll be like the millionth person to ask, and it'll only serve to irritate. Instead, why not just try a simple "congrats" or an "twins are so much fun"?
And, while we're on the topic, my twins are spontaneous...but that doesn't make them any more "natural" or "real" than my friends' children who were lovingly and emotionally conceived through IVF.
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