Feeding Babies: What I've Chosen and Why

For the first three weeks of life, my boys breastfed. I dutifully sat on the couch with my double breastfeeding pillow and the boys worshiped lovingly at the alter of boob. It was nearly a full time job--sometimes the boys were on the breast for five hours a day, but they were happy and so was I.

Three weeks after we came home from the hospital, the boys started getting really fussy at night. I read about cluster feeding, and that it was normal for babies to be hungrier and moodier from 6-10 pm. Every time they'd fuss, I'd put them to breast, but one night, as they howled even after they were put to breast multiple times, I burst into tears as well. My breasts felt...dry. I just knew that my babies were hungry and I wasn't giving them enough. So, in spite of all articles cautioning you not to do this, I gave the squaking boy some formula...and the crying--both mine and his--instantly stopped.

The next morning I started pumping...exclusively. As I began pumping, I began to notice some mathematics that explained why the boys were not always satisfied after feedings. First of all, my right breast was producing 10-25% less at each session, which explained why the baby I was feeding on my right breast was always seemingly hungrier and fussier than his brother. I know you're supposed to rotate twins on breasts for this exact reasons, but one of my boys had a lot of trouble latching on the other side.

Also, as I tracked my output and their consumption, I found that I was producing about 3-5 oz less per day than the babies seemingly needed. Knowing this gave me the option to supplement with a minimal amount of formula in addition to my expressed breast milk.

Having now done both breastfeeding and pumping/supplementing, I can say that each had their positives and negatives. For me, these are..

Breastfeeding positives...
-sense of closeness with babies
-once they're latched, the potential to have both hands free is there
-doesn't involve any expensive or cumbersome equipment
-can be done at the drop of a hat, no need to heat up a bottle or screw on a nipple.
-some research suggests that fresh breast milk is better for baby than that which comes out of the fridge

Breastfeeding negatives...
-nipple pain became a real issue
-leakage from one breast while baby was feeding on the other soaked all of my clothing and made me smell and feel unclean...especially during a time when showers aren't plentiful
-having to cover up around people is a pain
-you don't know how much the baby is getting
-only you can feed them
-feedings some times took over 30-40 minutes per baby

Pumping/supplementing positives...
-anyone can be involved in feeding which aids with both giving mom a little flexibility, and helping dad and others to bond with baby
-nipple discomfort is less than with breastfeeding
-feeding in public is easier and more discreet
-hands-free bra makes pumping easy to do while feeding the baby with a bottle simultaneously
-you know how much the baby is getting
-makes going back to work an easier transition

My dried out skin after 2 weeks of pumping and washing bottles

Pumping/supplementing negatives...
-cost of bottles, nipples, pump, etc is obviously higher than the $0 cost of breast feeding
-dishes. By far the worst part of pumping. We don't have a dishwasher, so my hands are literally raw to the point of bleeding because of the constant scrubbing.
-takes a little (but not much) set up time
-I've read that the pump can't keep your supply as high as a baby can. I rent a hospital grade pump, though, so maybe that's better?
-storage can be a bit tricky, especially on the go

Point is, there are good sides to both. For me, I really like being able to track how much the boys are consuming. I also really value having my husband be a part of the feeding process. When we were breastfeeding, I always felt like he had to play the "bad cop" role as diaper man, and never got to enjoy their milk-drunk cuteness. We've always been equal partners as a couple, and this seemed like the best decision to help all four of us bond together.

A graph of the babies' consumption and my production since I began pumping

Whatever you decide, remember that any decision is a good one so long as you're thinking of your baby. I think formula gets this horrible reputation, at least in my granola, liberal suburban neck of the woods it does, but there are plenty of great arguments for formula as well. Formula is definitely not poison, and in the end I think it's best to do whatever makes the most sense for your family, your baby, and your situation. Not everyone can or should feel like they have to breastfeed for 12 months. Just take care of yourself and your baby and you'll be fine!