Surprise! Finding Out About Twins

Our multiples pregnancy began much like the average pregnancy. I peed on a strip, I began to experience some (but not many) pregnancy symptoms, and our 6 week ultrasound showed a tiny flickering dot--the heartbeat of our baby.

Wait a second...baby? As in singular? Yes. You read that correctly. At our 6 week ultrasound they saw one gestational sac and one baby. During the ultrasound, I saw the slightest of objects just below the baby, and I asked the technician what she thought it was. She said it was likely the remnants of the fetal pole, and I just shrugged and assumed it must be something like that. We proceeded as usual, planning for our beautiful singleton pregnancy.

At 10 weeks, we went to a vanity ultrasound office. We wanted to check on the baby before we told our families on Mother's Day. I had barely hopped up on the table and lifted my shirt before the ultrasound technician paused and said, "want a surprise?"

I knew what she was going to say before she said it. There were too many little arms and legs in there to be just one baby. It was almost immediately clear that our one little baby was actually two. Their little gummy bear looking bodies were floating together in the black void of the gestational sac.

My husband and I left the office in shock--the good kind of shock. We were happy just to still be pregnant (this was further than we had made it during our first pregnancy); we hadn't even dared to think about something as cool as twins! We drove to a local KFC and stared at each other over our mashed potatoes. How had this happened? What were we going to do? We were scared, but mostly we just kept laughing. We couldn't believe in less than 30 weeks we would have the two child household we'd always wanted.

Everyone processes the news of multiples differently. If you did IVF, you might've prepared yourself for this. Others might be totally blindsided. For me, it was a total surprise. How you react is dependent on so many factors. We were planning on having two children eventually, so long term this didn't really change anything for us. Others, however, might find a twin pregnancy to be a big alteration to their life plan. This might also have financial implications for some families. If the children will need to be in daycare early on, you're talking about double the cost which might be a tremendous and seemingly insurmountable burden.

Another factor that can affect one's reaction to the twin news is the transition from a "normal" pregnancy to a high-risk pregnancy. This can cause added stress, especially if you're pregnant after a loss like I was. It also means more monitoring which can be time consuming, and it might mean bed rest. Bed rest and additional monitoring can again have financial implications, depending on your job and your insurance.

While we were ecstatic about the twin news, don't feel bad if you're less than enthusiastic initially. You have every reason to be nervous and scared. This might not have been what you planned for when you got pregnant. While parenting is all about flexibility, don't beat yourself up if it takes a few months to wrap your head around the unique course of your parenting journey. You'll find a way to make it work and eventually the blessings will outweigh the stresses.